New Taboo Tab: Sex, Lies and Storytime

The Taboo Tab is a a community of writers and readers bravely putting faces and stories to subjects society seems to skip over.

This month, that subject is sexuality. Whew. Not exactly a small topic. And it’s a serious one, too–just look at what has been in the news this week.

This is a powerful group of stories that together show the complexity and diversity of a notoriously challenging area. There are stories about judgement, outlooks, and experiences. Slut. Prude. Abstinence. Rape. Conversation. Diversity.

As Alex Crane writes in “The Zombie Effect“:

I live and work in a world where sex seems to be both capitalized and whispered at the same time. “Look out, the SEX is coming!” (pun? maybe.)

These twelve writers are moving the conversation into the real world.

Slut.
Slut.
Prude.
Prude.

 

 

 

 

 

An Obligation to Divulge
An Obligation to Divulge
The Zombie Effect
The Zombie Effect

 

 

 

 

 

I Am Not Broken.
I Am Not Broken.
I am Jane Doe
I am Jane Doe.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Pain.
The Pain
I Didn't Say No.
I Didn’t Say No

 

 

 

 

 

Being a Minister's Son.
Being a Minister’s Son
The Abstinent Man
The Abstinent Man

 

 

 

 

 

Confessions of an Empowered Submissive.
Confessions of an Empowered Submissive.
The Myth of Fabglitter
The Myth of Fabglitter

 

 

 

 

 

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(Note: you can read my own “Sex, Lies, and Storytime” article here)

Contributors: Alex Crane, Alicia Bridget, Alexandria (Ali) Prescott, B., Caitlin Corbett, Lucy Bee, Mark Corbett, Kate Booner, Michelle K., Rosie, and Sam McManus.

Want to contribute to the Taboo Tab? Drop me a line.

 
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Taboo Tab Preview: “The Zombie Effect”

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From “The Zombie Effect” by Alex Crane:

I guess no one ever tells you babies can come from being tied down and whipped by a leather clad mistress and loving it.
Or that sex can involve more than two people and not be a fling.
Or that being a guy that doesn’t like sex doesn’t mean you’re gay.
Or that being a girl who does like sex doesn’t make you a whore.
No one ever tells you because for some reason this big ass part of who we are as human beings has been suppressed and made to feel…well, mostly just that we’re doing it wrong.
“What do you mean you’ve slept with that many people? Do you just give it away?”;
“What do you mean you haven’t slept with that many people? Is there something wrong with you?”;
“You like what? Good God, who does that?!”
And so the judgement rages on.

Today is the last day to submit YOUR story about the diversity, judgement, and reality of sexuality for the Taboo Tab‘s release.

You can read Alex’s whole article, and more stories about Sex, Lies, and Storytime when the next  Taboo Tab launches on Friday, March 22nd.

Sex, Lies, and Storytime: “It’s okay, you’re not broken.”

I have wanted to write about this for a long time.  I have so much to say about it. The problem is that I don’t have any stories about it– not that I am willing to share, at least. The world belongs to people who have the best stories.  Sexual liberation belongs to women who are willing to stand up and say “I have sex! I have this much sex with this many people, and it’s okay!” or  “I dress like this, so take that society!” Purity, modesty, and all that is pro-Virgin power comes from personal testimonies and Conservatively told bible stories.

And then there’s me.

Of course, I admire people who do tell their stories. They have changed my life, and the world really does belong to them.  Stories have a neat way of improving social consciousness, evolving into full-blown movements. [Insert Pokemon evolution joke here?].

Me, I really don’t have a story that will change your life.  I could probably make you laugh, but ultimately I’m not willing to share whether I’ve said Yes or No–certainly, I’m not telling the internet, nor my parents, nor most people I know. That doesn’t make me ashamed, by the way. I am fully comfortable with my sexuality. And I’m fully comfortable with keeping it to myself.

But since stories run the show, I will tell you the stories I know.

I know stories about women saying Yes, and it being a big problem. I know stories about women saying No, and it being a big problem. I know stories about misogyny disguised as miscommunication.  I also know stories of miscommunication disguised as misogyny–God bless the little boys who receive mixed messages and lowered bars from society every day.

I know stories about people ashamed of what they have done, because that big bully “Society” told them they ought to be.  Then there the people ashamed of what they haven’t done. There’s also shame in the couldn’t do, wouldn’t do–or, God forbid, like to do.

Oh, and there’s shame in what people don’t like to do, too. Sometimes, the don’t likes meet the likes and they confuse and shame each other.  Fun, right?

I know stories about women who proudly wear the title “sexually liberated” because, well, they have a lot of sex and they want to own it and good for them.  I know stories about women who are “sexually liberated,” or “sex positive,” but don’t have a lot of sex at all.  I have heard tall tales from people who pretend they have more sex than they actually do, because they want to be part of the conversation. And then, of course, there are heartbreaking stories from folks who pretend they have less sex than they actually do, because that’s what is acceptable.

To make matters more confusing, these stories can all belong to the same person.  Whether you’re in a Eucharist line or a picket line, chances are your sexual history is more definitive of who you are as a person than it should be.

Yes, I know stories.  And so many of these stories make want to run up and give their keepers a big hug and say “It’s okay! You’re okay! You aren’t broken.”

Everyone is just trying to figure their shit out. If sexuality was sensible, reasonable, formulated, and mundane, then it wouldn’t be so friggin’ funny. And it is funny. It’s ridiculous. It’s romantic. It’s silly.

Welcome to human relationships, friends–they’re weird.  When people take their clothes off, they get even weirder. So no, they don’t need your judgement.  They need love, they need information.  Please leave the close-mindedness at the door.

Oh, yes, there are serious things involved in sexuality: Health. Pregnancy. HIV. Disease. Emotional well-being. Rape. Consent.  And we’re awfully good at confusing people about the serious parts by making up stupid rules about the ridiculous parts.  These things need to be discussed honestly, but we keep loading them down with arbitrary social standards.  Why? Do we really need to make sex more emotionally loaded and confusing?

Here’s what we need to do:  Care about the stories. Let them speak. Respect the storytellers.  Share your own stories, if you want to.  And whatever your story is, however different it is than someone elses, whatever you choose to do with it: You aren’t broken.

You’re just another person with a story and a body, and no matter what, those two things belong to you and you alone.

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Thanks to the overwhelming response to this blog post, I started an online project to tap into the power of sharing our stories. Check it out here: http://tabootab.com/category/sexuality/